The wonder of mother nature, do you like going bush?

Feuilles de pin de Wollemi (Wollemia nobilis)

Feuilles de pin de Wollemi (Wollemia nobilis) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The leaves of a gum tree19 05 13 047

Hello bloggers, or should I say boogers, Ivan here.

We went for a walk in the bush this morning and I took some pictures to show you what it is like in the world!
Have you every wondered what the difference is when people say, ‘this is a ‘softwood’ or ‘hardwood’?
It is a classification of trees into two broad groups- it gets confusing because a ‘softwood’ is a PINE tree, or nettle leafed tree, and the timber from a PINE tree is usually soft too- but not always.

They are an ancient coniferfious plant (another way to say PINE tree)- the key difference being the leaves of a ‘softwood’ or PINE- are nettles. This type of tree is ancient- in the case of the wollemi pine, this tree is genetically identical to fossils found and dated to 250 million years old- now thats old. Pine trees are the great survivors of our world! What were you doing 250 Million years ago? I was stardust and a twinkle in an apes eye.

regards Ivan: Kirton Fine Parquetry

Jay Cutler exclusive!!

Jay Cutler at Muscle Beach 2007

Jay Cutler at Muscle Beach 2007 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hi sports fans,

Today I interview Jay Cutler 3 time Mr Olympia and all round great guy.

I:Hi jay, may I get you to answer a few of the fans questions?
J: Yeah sure, Hi fans how are you all? Im in the middle of my training for Mr Olympia and Im going to kick some ass, thanks for all your support.
I: Question 1:Dear Jay, why do your thighs look like big slabs of meat?- carol.
J: Its funny you should mention this, as my orginial nick name was going to be Jay “big slabs of balls meat” Cutler. The other one was Jay cute ass cutler, but I favoured the big slabs, because we were going to get Jamie Foxx to record great balls of fire, but with ” goodness gracious big slabs of balls meat” as the chorus.
I: Jay, are you in any movies coming up? -matt
J: Well we have something in the works for the BPI fans at present, its about a bodybuilder that is massive, but he has one thing holding him back from greatness-has only one muscle that doesnt work properly!
Look, its a 2 hour tear jerker, like rocky 1, but better- man has a dream, told he cant do it, has to work and eventually- well I cant say the ending. Its about a bodybuilder that cant smile, starring Branch Warren and me as his amazing coach. basically we have to get him to weightlift his facial muscles by placing hooks though his face.

I: Jay, My biceps are now 1cm larger, and I have been taking your BPI branded creatine for 1 month, the only thing is, my testicles are the size of grapefruit, and my urine is now green? What do you think? -Flex Lewis

J: Well hey Flex, How are you? Well they dont call you the welsh dragon for nothing my friend, keep it up! By the way who is the body double they are using over at Gaspari for you in the offseason- he looks like a pufferfish to me. Keep pouting like justin beaber my friend and you may grow guns as big as mine one day.

 

 

What do abs of steel and a wooden floor have in common?

arnoldTimber floor 

The abs are the most boring muscle group to work arent they? This is my experience, that if you work them hard you can feel very ill, like your going to throw up.

My abs are currently under a layer of fat that will have to go before summer rolls around.

There is a saying that “abs are made in the kitchen and not in the gym”, well that is mostly true but unless you are naturally endowed you will -like me- have to work them every day for about 15 minutes.

The reason I work abs is because I want to walk on the beach in summer with a nice 6 pack. Everyone will be sneaking a look at my nice physique, who wouldnt right,  because i’m pretty good looking.

Your wooden floor is like the abs of your house, it makes the house look very desirable and attractive, so why not have both? A nice physique and a beautiful wooden floor? That will definitely say that you are into the finer things in life and got it going on! Some things are not said, they are conveyed and when you walk on the beach, it helps to have a nice body, the chiseled abs are the icing, and when I have people round to my house, I want my floors to make people talk.

Some people get a bit apprehensive when the price of a nice hardwood floor comes around, but just remember the abs mate, they have taught you a lesson!

When we want something that is really nice, and will make us feel really good, we have to work hard physically and mentally towards that for some time, in my case 6 months of hard labour until summer. We all might baulk at paying $30,000 for a new timber floor, but really- if you want that and you know its going to add three times its value to your home, then why the hell not?

Its like the abs, if you want it then work at it and it will eventually come!!

Is a timber floor like a bodybuilder? The Austrian Oak.

arnold_schwarzeneggerOak grain

A well laid and installed timber floor is exactly like a bodybuilder. How? Well a bodybuilder aims for perfection of muscles, size, and proportions in relation to the body height and shape. This reminds me of a well designed floor, and to install this excellent floor, we need all of these attributes plus more. When I install and sand a timber floor I think that I am creating something like an Arnold in the flooring world. Great proportions, a nice form and a lasting impression are the things that make a floor great. Lets not forget the nickname of this guy, the Austrian oak. The oak is a tree that signifies strength, steadfastness and longivity. Thats a good floor folks.

Whats a tree all about?

The bark of a tree

The bark of a tree (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Tree trunk complete with hearwood, pith and ra...

Tree trunk complete with hearwood, pith and radial lines (Photo credit: Horia Varlan)

Tasmania, Styx valley. This Eucalyptus regnans...

Tasmania, Styx valley. This Eucalyptus regnans, named El Grande by the Wilderness Society, was the most massive in the Styx Valley. It could not legally be logged because its height exceded 80 metres. It was accidentally killed in 2002 during the burning-off of debris after the trees around it were clear-felled by Gunns Ltd, the major logging and wood-chip enterprise in Tasmania’s State Forests. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

A tree is a living thing that uses the light from the sun, and the water, minerals and salts contained in the soil to grow.

The tree uses its bark, which has different layers, to transport minerals and water up through the trunk and into the leaves. This is where it gets turned via photosynthysis into sap that is then distributed down the tree and turns into more bark. The leaves also need carbon from the air to do this and this is why a tree is amazing.

A tree can turn an invisible gas into something tangable and able to be seen by us, a bit like quantum physics when we can only measure something by observing it, when we dont observe it is something else completely. If a tree falls in the woods is anyone to hear it? Im not sure because i dont live in the woods at present, I like the comforts of the city. But I do go camping sometimes but my wife will complain also.

Dust mate, dust.

English: 2001–2003 Mitsubishi Mirage (CE) 3-do...

A Porter-Cable model 333 random orbital sander

A Porter-Cable model 333 random orbital sander (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

I wanted to write about the dust created by sanding machines in your home. When selecting a floorsander ensure you ask the right questions when you have them over. It saves alot of time on both sides.

One important point is dust control and that comes into the the catagory of respect that a tradesman has for other peoples property, in this case your home. I always think to myself that I dont want the client doing any work that I should have done before leaving.

Lemon

Lemon (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Things that can be done is stuff like putting up dropsheets and sealing off cupboards, covering furniture and having an awareness of what your equipment is  doing.

We use good dust extraction equipment and that is for my staff just as much as your house, as dust is a nasty thing to get up your nose all day long.

Dust is also a real health hazard for the people working with it so spare a thought for the guys having to get the finish and wood off your floor to make it look nice.

Offer them a nice cup of joe or just a plain old lemon from the bottom of the fridge will do if they look like a sour-face.