The wonder of mother nature, do you like going bush?

Feuilles de pin de Wollemi (Wollemia nobilis)

Feuilles de pin de Wollemi (Wollemia nobilis) (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

The leaves of a gum tree19 05 13 047

Hello bloggers, or should I say boogers, Ivan here.

We went for a walk in the bush this morning and I took some pictures to show you what it is like in the world!
Have you every wondered what the difference is when people say, ‘this is a ‘softwood’ or ‘hardwood’?
It is a classification of trees into two broad groups- it gets confusing because a ‘softwood’ is a PINE tree, or nettle leafed tree, and the timber from a PINE tree is usually soft too- but not always.

They are an ancient coniferfious plant (another way to say PINE tree)- the key difference being the leaves of a ‘softwood’ or PINE- are nettles. This type of tree is ancient- in the case of the wollemi pine, this tree is genetically identical to fossils found and dated to 250 million years old- now thats old. Pine trees are the great survivors of our world! What were you doing 250 Million years ago? I was stardust and a twinkle in an apes eye.

regards Ivan: Kirton Fine Parquetry

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What is wood?

 

Hello again bloggers, Its Ivan here. Have you ever wondered when its all going to end? I do, because I work in my own business, HE HE.  I recently saw the movie oblivion, and it raised some interesting questions about the fate of mankind. But seriously folks, In this video I attempt to iron out some questions you may have surrounding the issue of forest depletion, and what to do about it. Until Next time, Ivan
Kirton fine Parquetry

Do you long for the feel of a wooden floor beneath your toes?

Do you wish you had a wooden floor, but you have never had the will or fortitude to go ahead and get one? Well this blog is for you my friend!
I’ll give you ten life saving reasons to resolve your issues RE timber floor disphobia.

  1. Do you wake up at night screaming for a wood floor? Then a wood floor is for you! Go to it and you will be free.
  2. Do you fear carpet? Then install a wooden floor- an easy answer to a difficult mental situation.
  3. Do you loathe the feel of tiles? Yes Yes Yes!! I hate tiles too- should we be friends?-NO.
  4. Do you exhale, and make a whistling sound through your nose that sounds like the word ‘wooden’? Follow the sound.
  5. When eating a banana do you make an annoying sound when chewing? You wont make that sound anymore with timber floors.
  6. Do you find in public, everyone you stare at is picking their nose? Well the timber floor will look so nice, you’ll want to stay at home most of the time-Problem solved.
  7. Do you look at a tree and think, Id like to mill you? Well leave it to the experts, but yes its a good idea.
  8. Do trees make you nervous and fear for your safety? Cut them down and use them for flooring
  9. Why does the dodo scare you? Dont worry, its extinct it cant hurt you anymore.
  10. Is the only thing in your life facebook? GET A FLOOR made of WOOD and you might make real friends.

Jay Cutler exclusive!!

Jay Cutler at Muscle Beach 2007

Jay Cutler at Muscle Beach 2007 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hi sports fans,

Today I interview Jay Cutler 3 time Mr Olympia and all round great guy.

I:Hi jay, may I get you to answer a few of the fans questions?
J: Yeah sure, Hi fans how are you all? Im in the middle of my training for Mr Olympia and Im going to kick some ass, thanks for all your support.
I: Question 1:Dear Jay, why do your thighs look like big slabs of meat?- carol.
J: Its funny you should mention this, as my orginial nick name was going to be Jay “big slabs of balls meat” Cutler. The other one was Jay cute ass cutler, but I favoured the big slabs, because we were going to get Jamie Foxx to record great balls of fire, but with ” goodness gracious big slabs of balls meat” as the chorus.
I: Jay, are you in any movies coming up? -matt
J: Well we have something in the works for the BPI fans at present, its about a bodybuilder that is massive, but he has one thing holding him back from greatness-has only one muscle that doesnt work properly!
Look, its a 2 hour tear jerker, like rocky 1, but better- man has a dream, told he cant do it, has to work and eventually- well I cant say the ending. Its about a bodybuilder that cant smile, starring Branch Warren and me as his amazing coach. basically we have to get him to weightlift his facial muscles by placing hooks though his face.

I: Jay, My biceps are now 1cm larger, and I have been taking your BPI branded creatine for 1 month, the only thing is, my testicles are the size of grapefruit, and my urine is now green? What do you think? -Flex Lewis

J: Well hey Flex, How are you? Well they dont call you the welsh dragon for nothing my friend, keep it up! By the way who is the body double they are using over at Gaspari for you in the offseason- he looks like a pufferfish to me. Keep pouting like justin beaber my friend and you may grow guns as big as mine one day.

 

 

Ronnie coleman, Phil Heath or Arnold?

I'm pretty sure that's Ronnie's wife on his left.

I’m pretty sure that’s Ronnie’s wife on his left. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Im sure you have asked yourselves this question at least once right?

Some thoughts…..

  1. The Ronnie Coleman Protein powder is good
  2. Arnold brought the sport to the forefront
  3. Arnold loved to pose on timber floorboards, because they are warmer underfoot and represent growth
  4. Why cant Branch Warren crack a smile?
  5. Is Phil Heath on something other than Muscletech?
  6. Is that blonde guy going to win the Olympia?
  7. What is a silk amino and is it a gimmick?
  8. Do fat burners send you mad, or help you lose weight?
  9. And why dont you have a look at a beautiful timber floor?

I love the look and feel of our timber floor. When I have friends and family over,  people talk about my floor, as well as passing on the compliments. I know it’s been a really good decision,  and I can see the money spent has been worth it.

English: Cropped image to just Branch Warren. ...

English: Cropped image to just Branch Warren. Original description read: Dean Pillarella (Xavier High School ’11) and Branch Warren (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

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Timber floor

What do abs of steel and a wooden floor have in common?

arnoldTimber floor 

The abs are the most boring muscle group to work arent they? This is my experience, that if you work them hard you can feel very ill, like your going to throw up.

My abs are currently under a layer of fat that will have to go before summer rolls around.

There is a saying that “abs are made in the kitchen and not in the gym”, well that is mostly true but unless you are naturally endowed you will -like me- have to work them every day for about 15 minutes.

The reason I work abs is because I want to walk on the beach in summer with a nice 6 pack. Everyone will be sneaking a look at my nice physique, who wouldnt right,  because i’m pretty good looking.

Your wooden floor is like the abs of your house, it makes the house look very desirable and attractive, so why not have both? A nice physique and a beautiful wooden floor? That will definitely say that you are into the finer things in life and got it going on! Some things are not said, they are conveyed and when you walk on the beach, it helps to have a nice body, the chiseled abs are the icing, and when I have people round to my house, I want my floors to make people talk.

Some people get a bit apprehensive when the price of a nice hardwood floor comes around, but just remember the abs mate, they have taught you a lesson!

When we want something that is really nice, and will make us feel really good, we have to work hard physically and mentally towards that for some time, in my case 6 months of hard labour until summer. We all might baulk at paying $30,000 for a new timber floor, but really- if you want that and you know its going to add three times its value to your home, then why the hell not?

Its like the abs, if you want it then work at it and it will eventually come!!

Is a timber floor like a bodybuilder? The Austrian Oak.

arnold_schwarzeneggerOak grain

A well laid and installed timber floor is exactly like a bodybuilder. How? Well a bodybuilder aims for perfection of muscles, size, and proportions in relation to the body height and shape. This reminds me of a well designed floor, and to install this excellent floor, we need all of these attributes plus more. When I install and sand a timber floor I think that I am creating something like an Arnold in the flooring world. Great proportions, a nice form and a lasting impression are the things that make a floor great. Lets not forget the nickname of this guy, the Austrian oak. The oak is a tree that signifies strength, steadfastness and longivity. Thats a good floor folks.