Do you long for the feel of a wooden floor beneath your toes?

Do you wish you had a wooden floor, but you have never had the will or fortitude to go ahead and get one? Well this blog is for you my friend!
I’ll give you ten life saving reasons to resolve your issues RE timber floor disphobia.

  1. Do you wake up at night screaming for a wood floor? Then a wood floor is for you! Go to it and you will be free.
  2. Do you fear carpet? Then install a wooden floor- an easy answer to a difficult mental situation.
  3. Do you loathe the feel of tiles? Yes Yes Yes!! I hate tiles too- should we be friends?-NO.
  4. Do you exhale, and make a whistling sound through your nose that sounds like the word ‘wooden’? Follow the sound.
  5. When eating a banana do you make an annoying sound when chewing? You wont make that sound anymore with timber floors.
  6. Do you find in public, everyone you stare at is picking their nose? Well the timber floor will look so nice, you’ll want to stay at home most of the time-Problem solved.
  7. Do you look at a tree and think, Id like to mill you? Well leave it to the experts, but yes its a good idea.
  8. Do trees make you nervous and fear for your safety? Cut them down and use them for flooring
  9. Why does the dodo scare you? Dont worry, its extinct it cant hurt you anymore.
  10. Is the only thing in your life facebook? GET A FLOOR made of WOOD and you might make real friends.
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Jay Cutler exclusive!!

Jay Cutler at Muscle Beach 2007

Jay Cutler at Muscle Beach 2007 (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Hi sports fans,

Today I interview Jay Cutler 3 time Mr Olympia and all round great guy.

I:Hi jay, may I get you to answer a few of the fans questions?
J: Yeah sure, Hi fans how are you all? Im in the middle of my training for Mr Olympia and Im going to kick some ass, thanks for all your support.
I: Question 1:Dear Jay, why do your thighs look like big slabs of meat?- carol.
J: Its funny you should mention this, as my orginial nick name was going to be Jay “big slabs of balls meat” Cutler. The other one was Jay cute ass cutler, but I favoured the big slabs, because we were going to get Jamie Foxx to record great balls of fire, but with ” goodness gracious big slabs of balls meat” as the chorus.
I: Jay, are you in any movies coming up? -matt
J: Well we have something in the works for the BPI fans at present, its about a bodybuilder that is massive, but he has one thing holding him back from greatness-has only one muscle that doesnt work properly!
Look, its a 2 hour tear jerker, like rocky 1, but better- man has a dream, told he cant do it, has to work and eventually- well I cant say the ending. Its about a bodybuilder that cant smile, starring Branch Warren and me as his amazing coach. basically we have to get him to weightlift his facial muscles by placing hooks though his face.

I: Jay, My biceps are now 1cm larger, and I have been taking your BPI branded creatine for 1 month, the only thing is, my testicles are the size of grapefruit, and my urine is now green? What do you think? -Flex Lewis

J: Well hey Flex, How are you? Well they dont call you the welsh dragon for nothing my friend, keep it up! By the way who is the body double they are using over at Gaspari for you in the offseason- he looks like a pufferfish to me. Keep pouting like justin beaber my friend and you may grow guns as big as mine one day.